There’s this certain point where the tension stops being delicious and starts being horrifying and maddening. That point, for me, is when the guy visibly gets angry or resentful and eventually cruel..because he expects me to make a move, and not just a move but The Move. The one that will lead to sex without either of us ever having to explain anything, or say anything out loud. The one that will enable him to be neither vulnerable nor exposed to rejection. The one where I will take all the work of making sex happen AND making it good, upon myself. Some guys believe this kind of posturing is called “being a nice guy.”

I think it’s called “lazy misogyny.”

An active, desiring partner is hot.

A passive, immature partner who takes no responsibility for his own actions is simply not ready for sex, no matter how old he is.

Writes all the things. Photographs the light. Smiles at odd moments. Reads in the shower. Sings to the trees. Hopes a lot.

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