My experience with nice guys is that they lose the girl because they are not direct, they do not state what they want in direct terms, and they often do not respect either themselves or their partners.
There are plenty of men I’ve liked just fine who suddenly turn into total crazies the instant we start flirting. I think they’re trying to be gentlemanly, but instead they just come off as insecure or wish-washy. I always feel like they’re trying to manipulate me into a relationship instead of just telling me how they feel. When I am direct, it threatens their masculinity.
In my experience, nice guys are living with a totally outdated view of masculinity. They think if they act like knights in shining armor, women will be impressed. But liking someone is not the same as wanting to be rescued. I want a guy who will be direct and straightforward and tell me he’s interested. Who will give me the chance to consent to his come-on or not.
I am a real adult. I know vulnerability is hard but I’m sick of guys who expect me to figure out what they want. There’s a difference between being polite vs bad communication.