Men express that they are getting defensive as though this is vital feedback, like this adds up to a genuine criticism rather than simply a piece of fairly useless information. If the speaker is not someone with whom I have a personal relationship, their feelings are simply none of my business.
Truth is, men are afraid they cannot control their own anger. So they inform us when we are upsetting us to try to convince us to change our behavior. Because their usual method of self-control is by controlling others, not taking personal responsibility for their own behavior.