It hurts, every time. That “you’re too hard, too much, too weird, too strong, too fat, too other” assertion. That statement that they’ll just move on to a skinny white girl who has been through as little as possible so there is inner pain to disrupt her ability to be available to him.

It hurts in that place where I think I’m not white enough to be loved.

But I will be better off without him.

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