My husband is a nice guy and does many, many chores the house, all the errands, cooking, cleaning.etc., I never want for gifts, but the need to control and dominate is always there. I tolerate it until I’ve had enough and he backs down immediately — but I’m thinking why do I have …
I wouldn’t tolerate it. I am not judging your choices at all, because every choice comes with limits and consequences. I live with male housemates and it’s the same. That one guy stares at my tits and talks over me all the time, then wonders why I basically ignore him. That other guy has to be coaxed and cajoled into doing any household chores.
I suppose the only solution is to avoid living with men altogether, but in my experience, everyone has got problems that come out in their living situation.
But the idea that women need to just put up with men behaving in ways that control or intimidate or manipulate or disrespect women, that this is the cost of being connected with men, is horrible.