Every nice guy I’ve ever met has been an excellent human, up until he started trying to covertly date me while insisting he wasn’t interested. By the end of each relationship, I felt manipulated, gaslit, and totally confused where the excellent guy I used to like disappeared to.

Most of the time, if they had just asked me out directly, I would have said yes. Instead, they flirted but denied it when I asked them what they wanted, tried to engage romantically when they thought my guard was down, but insisted it was all in my head when I didn’t respond exactly the way they wanted me to.

They ruined things. And inevitably, they also blamed me for it. And occasionally, they fucked with my head so entirely that I blamed myself, too.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store